hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
this hospital has no fireball
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
