fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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