I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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