I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
if i died would you start the facebook group?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
