flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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