I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize