Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize