I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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