Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
