happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Randomize
