Already got asked if we're dating
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
