Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
