Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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