i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Randomize
