hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
