At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
