tell your sister to shave her snatch
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
you mean i was at the winter classic?
two words: eviction party
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Be still, my beating vagina.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
