Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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