he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
