Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
