somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
