Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
