I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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