i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
My ass is underappreciated
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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