Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
