Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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