Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
