i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
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