Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
