I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
