so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
barbara walters just said penis...
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
