So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
