I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
