Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
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