Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
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