I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
