You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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