I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
