im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
