How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
