i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
