he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
