8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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