You just made me feel so damn special
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
