I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
