I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
