what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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