you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
