i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
