it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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